I exist in a lot of social justice sort of spaces. It's good. It really is. I learn about groups of people who are both like and unlike myself and the issues they/we face.
I didn't used to be able to stand up for myself and others, either online or in meatspace (in other words, the "real world", though I despise that term). I've learned a lot and now I'm better at it. So when someone does a thing that is harmful, and people speak out, I find that sometimes, they will apologize for their behavior, which may be simply ignorance.
Some people try and rationalize their behavior, try to make excuses.
The worst thing in my opinion that a person can do is say "but free speech"!
Free speech doesn't entitle people to say whatever they want to without being called out by oppressed groups. Free speech doesn't entitle you to refer to people using slurs. Free speech entitles you to not be arrested for speaking your mind. Your speech is protected under the law, but your speech still has consequences. When you make generalized statements' about a group of people or you use a word that hurts us (yes, casual use of the r word included, along with calling random objects "so gay"), you don't get to complain that we're too sensitive. Yes, that might be true. I spent too long building up so many walls and yes, now I'm going to say something.
Free speech has consequences of its own. You may not get arrested for it in the US, but you will face backlash if you are ableist, racist, sexist, etc.
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