Sometimes, I Just Can't Words (tw: Autistic Murder, Torture, Therapy)

Even my inner English major is cringing at that title. But really, there is little else that explains within its very nature how elusive words have been for me. Ordinarily, I'd be posting walls of text in various corners of the Internet, but I've found over the last few months a little short on communication ability, verbal or text based. It's frustrating. You'd think that the older I get, the easier my coping methods would become. Well, while they are all quite practiced, my coping methods aren't all that effective as I'd like them to be. It's been a rough few months. I lost a friend. I found out that my family's future is going to change very soon (with my husband leaving the Navy in just two weeks now). And of course, a lot has happened in the autism world to shake us all. We have new names to add to our dead. We thankfully, won't be adding Issy Stapleton to that list, despite the attempt made on her life by someone who supposedly loved her dearly. I've become frustrated with those who venture into Aspie elitism and who make disparaging remarks about the "low functioning" among us, as though functioning labels really were worthwhile and meant something in the first place. I've become frustrated with parents of autistic children (who I refuse to call "Autism Parents" because I feel like that is an appropriation from autistic people, especially autistic people who are parents), who claim that there's a divide in the "autism community" after the murder of Alex and the attempted murder of Issy. There is no divide. You won't find autistic people attempting to justify murder. You won't find us asking for more services. You will find us asking for the media to care more about the murdered or nearly murdered autistic teenager than about how "violent" they supposedly are/were (after the parent put them through torturous and/or abusive therapy, some not even medically warranted). I've had too many thoughts and emotions invading my mind and I'm both emotionally and physically exhausted. Please forgive me for the radio silence and in the meantime, listen. Forget about how angry you think a person is, and how blunt their message might be. Think about how far we have to go for understanding, acceptance and accommodation/access. Think about Issy. George. Alex. The people who are tortured daily at the Judge Rotenberg Center. Then tell me I'm being divisive.