Who are you really fighting for? (tw: medical abuse, Torture, murder, ableism)

I've been thinking lately about the way that we frame autism and especially how we do so when it comes to tragedy and abuses toward autistic folks. It's never ending, this string of murders and abuse and attempted murders of autistic people. There was Alex Spourdalakis, then Issy Stapleton (who gratefully survived her mother's attempt on her life ). Then there was Jaelen and Faith Edge.

Many people, activists in their own right, chose one of two options. They either tried to use the "parents were stressed" excuse, thereby creating an even more difficult world for those among us who do have mental illnesses (because if they just snapped, we could too). Or they're entirely silent. The first I understand on an intellectual level in that we are always trying to find an answer as to why (we know why - autistic people are dehumanized and reduced to a set of behaviors, rather than treated like individuals and people). The second baffled me until now. Why were feminists especially so silent when it came to autistic people, especially women and our rights to bodily autonomy?

The case of Kade Hanegraaf finally put this into perspective for me (this, by the way, is the autistic teenager who also has Tourette's whose vocal cords were cut to stop vocal stimming / "screaming"). It's because feminists don't see us as fully human. Oh.

Feminists would rather sympathize with a mother than with an autistic girl such as Issy who has been abused and nearly murdered by her mother. Because the mother's mental health is more important than an autistic person's life and right to bodily autonomy. Because consent doesn't tend to matter if a person can't speak.

I am angry. This is what intersectionality is about. You aren't fighting for equal rights if you won't go to bat for trans women, for women of color and for disabled/autistic women. You aren't fighting for everyone's right to not have changes to their body made without their consent (and in this case, it appears for the convenience of the parents) if you won't go to bat for an autistic child who had their vocal cords cut. Where is the coverage on how he feels? It's nonexistent.

It makes me angry that this surgery is illegal to perform on dogs (it's called debarking), but is legal for an autistic kid. It makes me terrified for Kade that his ability to scream has been taken away, that a person who is part of a group that is  already prone to being abused now has less of an ability to express a "no" in a way that gets attention.

That should bother you. That we go to bat for parents, and mostly mothers, and sympathize with their stress, but don't worry too much about autistic kids and their feelings, even when they're girls or teenage women.